The biggest party of the summer is upon us, and some people are going to leave a wee bit disappointed and it won’t be because they got pushed into the pool. Let’s take a look at the card, it’s going to be a good one…
John Cena (c) vs. Brock Lesnar (WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match)
Initially, I could not have been more unenthusiastic towards this match. It’s something that we’ve seen before and I just don’t like Brock at all. I’m not Cena’s biggest fan right now but I dislike Brock Lesnar a hell of a lot more.
Cena has been working to build up this match pretty much by himself, he’s appeared every week and delivers fantastic work. Even if it’s the same thing that we’ve seen a thousand times, the man knows how to get a crowd going and nobody can deny that. What does Brock do? Comes out and hops around on the top of the ramp, throws out a cuss word or two, and we’re expected to shiver in our booties? I don’t think so. Nothing about him scares me, except for the fact that he has no eyebrows. What’s going to happen is Brock will dominate for a bit, see his own blood, start to panic, and then he will scream like a little girl. Happens every time. The man couldn’t wrestle his way out of a paper bag. It also doesn’t help his case when he doesn’t show up all the time to promote what he’s in. Sure, he’ll show up this coming Raw but where was he last week? This whole video promo/via satellite business doesn’t make me want to be more invested in this match.
The plus side of this whole thing is that whoever walks out of Summerslam as the champion is essentially just a place holder for the next guy, who I am hoping is Roman Reigns or Cesaro. Cena has nothing to really gain by having the belt any longer and nobody is buying Lesnar as a full-time champion. If you do then you clearly put too much booze in your coffee.
Winner: John Cena
Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz (c) (Intercontinental Championship Match)
A movie star versus one of the most talented guys on the roster today. I don’t see a competition here at all.
The Miz does absolutely nothing for me as a wrestling fan. He has no charisma, no spunk, and does a figure four that would make your grandma weep (and not in a good way). I’m not going to say that a wrestler isn’t a hard worker (unless you’re a part timer like Lesnar or Batista) because I know it isn’t easy. Miz just bugs the shit out of me. He just seems like a guy who wants to be famous for anything and thinks it’s cool to be a wrestler.
Then you have Dolph Ziggler, a guy who is just a treat to watch in the ring. Every time he wrestles it is like a ballet. Many see him as mid-card right now, but every single time that he goes out there he wrestles like he is in a title bout. That is what wrestling is about and that is how each guy on the roster should treat every single match they are in. It is about giving your best for yourself and the fans who come out to see a show. Miz can’t hold a candle to Dolph.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler
Chris Jericho vs. Bray Wyatt
What will make this match interesting is that neither Harper or Rowan will be allowed at ringside to assist Bray, due to victories scored on both Raw and Smackdown by Chris Jericho. Not that Bray can’t hold his own in the ring but his two followers make it a lot easier to secure a victory.
No matter who wins this match, Bray will walk out of it a bigger superstar than he was before he walked down that ramp. If anyone in the WWE can do that, it’s Jericho. He put over Fandango at Wrestlemania for god sakes!
Winner: Chris Jericho
Paige vs. AJ Lee (c) (Divas Championship Match)
I actually was starting to like the whole frenimies angle. I thought it was inventive and interesting, now it’s kind of worn out to me and I could give a shit. It makes me sad because I really thought that the divas division was making a turn around.
Winner: AJ Lee
Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton
For weeks Randy Orton has been after ROman Reigns for costing him his rematch for the WWE title. I’ve never seen such a grudge held by anyone in my life. I’d say out of all the matches on the card, this is the one I’m the most eager for. Mostly because I will get to see Roman beat the holy hell out of Randy Orton.
Since the break-up of The Shield, Roman has been in some pretty high-profile matches but this will be his time to prove himself truly worthy of being a top guy. The fans love him and that is fantastic but he needs to do something that will one hundred percent assert his dominance over Randy, the Authority, and send a message to every single person on that roster that it is his time to shine. You either move out-of-the-way or get ran over. The victory that Roman gains in this match will propel him to be next in line for a shot at the title belt probably by the next pay-per-view event.
Winner: Roman Reigns
Stephanie McMahon vs. Brie Bella
I have an extremely hard time buying that Brie Bella has a single mean bone in her body, that explains why I have such a hard time with her ‘tough girl’ act. I really want to like her going into this but there is no way that she can take Stephanie, hell I’d be scared to take on Stephanie. The only thing that will save Brie from defeat will be Nikki, something that I hope doesn’t happen because it will cheapen any chance she has at victory. Nikki may have gotten the shitty end of the stick since Brie peaced out, but if she’s such a tough cookie she wouldn’t need the ‘assistance’. I’d like to see a good, clean fight. I think that this match will surprise a lot of people in how good it will actually be, I’m hoping for a lot of big surprises and shocking moments.
Winner: Stephanie McMahon
Rusev vs. Jack Swagger
This match is going to do great things for both of the mean involved in it.
It will establish Rusev as the villain that he should have been from the beginning and it will make people somewhat give a shit about Jack Swagger. He’s never been my favorite but he needs to do something to make people care, he can’t solely rely on Zeb’s fantastic work on the microphone each and every week. He also needs to make sure that his work is clean so nobody else gets injured while working with him. This also works in Rusev’s favor as the anti-American sentiment that he projects establishes him as a bad guy. You can beat up anyone you want but when you’ve got an entire arena of people hating your guts, you’ve made it as a heel.
It’s very Slaughter/Sheik and I’m not upset about it.
Winner: Jack Swagger